A Measure of Failure

I have a lengthy work commute. The drive is an hour one way and though I've commuted 94 miles one way in a previous job, my current commute is simply spectacular and is not an issue at all. It may be for some Rhode Islanders who believe that a 10 mile drive is out of the question; but certainly not for me.

I cross three bridges (over 3 miles) to get to my destination every morning. It’s simply gorgeous crossing the magnificent bodies of water, the lighthouses, driving through some of the towns, and seeing some of the scenery that I see each day. Born and raised in New England, I already knew New Hampshire and Maine were stunning in their own right, but I never knew just how spectacular neighboring Rhode Island was.

                 One of the three bridges that I cross everyday….

Having an hour commute means that I need to keep my mind busy. Not busy like cell phone or text messaging busy. I don't use my cell when I’m driving. The caller can leave a message and I’ll call them back when I get to where I’m going. Instead of text messaging at 60 miles per hour, I keep busy with audio books. When I’m not listening to books, XM radio has plenty to keep my mind occupied, as does the underrated "quiet-time."

A book by one of my favorite authors, John Maxwell, called “Failing Forward” seemed appropriate last week; let me explain. 

I just returned from the 2011 No-Kill Conference in Washington. Well, not really. I have been home for over a week. I arrived home late last Sunday after an exhausting start thanks to United Airlines. I wanted to write about it tonight. 

After an hour, after hour, after hour, yes, even another hour, flight delay, and not a single explanation “why the delay” from anyone at United,” and not one apology from anyone at United, most surely ensured my family will never fly United Airlines again. The customer service was so bad that I wrote a blistering note to United the day I returned from Washington (OVER one week ago), but I have yet to receive a response. I shouldn’t be surprised after how horrific they treated their customers that night.  

We (me and my shelter manager) checked into the hotel just after 3am – guaranteeing a chipper Saturday morning. Like Nathan Winograd posted on his Facebook page; I too remember the all-nighters and the ability to function with little or no sleep. Those days are long gone. At my age, I’m lucky if I can stay awake past 9:30pm. So many thanks to United Airlines for poorly starting off what should have been an exceptional weekend.

The national No-Kill conference has come a long way since Nathan’s very first Building a No-Kill Community seminar in San Diego in 2005. Gone are the days when Nathan was the one and only speaker and the entire conference was held in one small room.

Fast forward six years and Nathan has a sold out conference in a few weeks, 400 attendees, multiple speakers, nationally recognized speakers, work-shops from increasing adoptions, to animal enrichment, to reforming animal-control, to improving fundraising, to Social Media 101, to just about anything animal-sheltering pertinent. It’s quite the event. The only thing missing was a clown twisting balloons into dogs and cats for people as they checked in. 

I may not be able to say that I was at the first “national” No-Kill conference, but I can say I was one of a small intimate group that attended Nathan’s FIRST conference. That must be worth something at trading card time…

I met people for the first time that I was talking to through email (some for years). Some have been a wealth of knowledge in areas such as Breed Specific Legislation, dog bite data, adoptions, shelter operations, animal-control, and some even looked to me for help (or support) from time-to-time.

I also met folks that I just wanted to congratulate for what they were doing in the industry. Most of the people I met (or spoke with) I otherwise may never run into in person. I mean, I live in Rhode Island; so let's say someone I know lives in New Mexico. Not likely that we are going to run into each other at Starbucks. So as nice as it was to meet everyone (for the first time and some again) it was especially nice to “finally” meet Brent Toellner, Ryan Clinton, and to put a friendly Internet face to Jaime Horton.

I eagerly got to see again and spend time with an incredible volunteer from a past city (and friend), like Michelle....

....and even talked with people who I didn’t know of, but who knew me. That was somewhat uncomfortable as I’m not one who embraces the limelight or has done anything of substance in my animal-welfare career. So to have strangers approach me in the hallway and say, “Oh my God, you’re Doug Rae!!” was totally unexpected and rather uncomfortable.

But through all of the people that I met for the first time, all of the good friends that I saw again, and everyone in between, I simply do not have a better friend in animal-welfare than Nathan Winograd.

Nathan’s presentation at the 2002 No More Homeless Pets conference convinced me to leave my corporate career and enter animal-welfare working for the animals. His presentation was solid; in fact; I found it very business-like (yes, even with the Monkees music).



As I walked up to Nathan after his workshop, I told him what many people probably have over the years; that he “inspired” me. I’m sure I was just another face in the crowd and Nathan was thinking, “next” as nine people formed a line behind me waiting to meet him. But for me, Nathan had no idea he had just changed my life.

I wonder how many people walked away from the 2011 No-Kill conference that, like me in 2002, now want to take on animal-welfare as a career.… ?

Managing an animal shelter and not knowing the difference between an Australian Shepard and a German Shepard and having zero allies in the animal-welfare field to turn to, I found myself in uncharted waters. In my first shelter I knew absolutely nothing about animal-sheltering and I knew even less about how incredibly dysfunctional animal-welfare was. It wasn't easy for this retail guy...

I almost certainly muddled through the days, weeks, and months; self-teaching myself the business and making mistakes along the way. Animal-welfare is a very difficult (and trying) industry to work in; so my first job as a Shelter Manager was awfully challenging.

As I moved up the organizational chart and I branched out to take on different cities (and more responsibility), I still needed guidance here and there to save as many lives as possible and to overcome the industry’s ineptitude. But really, my sales background and customer service skills fit nicely into animal-sheltering (for me anyways). It was having a structured business mind-set that didn’t seem very welcome in animal-welfare.

The personal and professional challenges became more frequent as the responsibility grew -- so I decided to turn to this guy named Winograd for help. Why create the wheel when someone has done it before me. 

Today I’m incredibly proud to call Nathan a good friend.

When I see Nathan and he loudly says, “Dougie!!” as he did at the conference, I quickly forget everything that he has done for me over the years and see Nathan for who he is. A very kind, thoughtful, gracious and considerate man with one major goal in life – to save animals lives and cripple anyone who gets in his or the animals way.

He doesn’t play the “nonsensical games” that so many workers (and ego-driven Directors) embrace in animal-welfare. His generosity is probably so appealing to the masses that people surely take advantage of his good-will. I did just that after starting a new job. When I hit “send” on my keyboard, I remember thinking, “Did I foolishly just ask Nathan to help me with this?”

As ridiculous (and almost inappropriate) as my request was that day, Nathan was 'Johnny on the Spot' not only offering his help, but assisting in ways that I never even thought possible. For years, Nathan has helped me in the shadows of life and ever so quietly behind the scenes. The only person who knew Nathan was as deeply involved with me as he was -- would be my wife Lynn. Phoenix, Maryland, Philadelphia, Indianapolis, Rhode Island; he’s been there if I needed him. I just needed to “ask.”

I hate to bug Nathan so I try hard not to. No doubt the majority of No-Kill Nation contact him with their own requests. Moreover Nathan is a busy guy. He writes a wicked informative blog, authors books, writes legislation, plans conferences, travels around the country doing a host of talented things, is a full time father and husband, and knowing Nathan as I do, I’m sure he's secretly planning a program where new Shelter Directors will spend a week at the Hogwarth School of Witchcraft so they can easily recognize the hoards of “muggles” in animal-welfare.

Nathan has never hesitated “one time,” not once saying, “I’m busy Doug, I can’t.” Ok, maybe once. He was out of town and sent me an immediate email saying he’d help as soon as he returned; and he did. In fact, and as crazy as this sounds, his consistently rapid response gives me the impression that he stops what he is doing just so he can focus on Doug Rae. I’m sure many others feel the same way about Nathan and their own issues. Case in point....

...during one of the workshops at the conference, someone asked a speaker, “Considering all that you are doing and how it can come back against you, who is your legal counsel?” The speakers reply was immediate, “I have Nathan Winograd.” Not surprising to hear considering what Nathan has done for me. 

I also had to pleasure to see Nathan’s wife Jennifer at the conference. I hadn't seen Jennifer since she came to Philly on Nathan’s Redemption book tour a few years ago. But unlike how father-time has treated Nathan..

...Jennifer seems to get more and more........ whats the word I’m looking for…..?

....ADORABLE ........as she gets older. She is so darn charming and cute that I almost asked Jennifer if she needed a date to the prom. So, as always, it was nice to see and talk with Jennifer.

I’m hopeful that Jennifer speaks at the next conference.

I know that I could not be doing what I do for a living, could not have vivaciously fought the battles that I have, and would not have moved around the country more than a felon on the run, without Lynn by my side supporting me "every step of the way." So is Jennifer Winograd the rock behind Nathan Winograd just as Lynn is for me? Of course she is.

It would be nice to hear Jennifer tell a room full of people what it’s like to be Mrs. Winograd, the challenges that she surely must face in that role, and how it has affected the movement, her family, her husband, and of course, Jennifer.

The faces of animal-welfare were in abundance at this years conference and I’m not going to name them all since I’ll omit people. Some were friends, some I had never met, some carried with them very high credentials and have produced incredible numbers and efforts in their city.

Some speakers, like Michael Mountain, presented a very knowledgeable presentation that I sorely wished was longer, while others had just the right amount of time. The workshop content was immense and almost too much. I wasn’t able to hit a few that I wanted to take in since there were so many to pick from. I regret not having the time to see "three" workshops (speakers) that I really wished I had circled in my program.

Nationally acclaimed Seth Godin was Saturday’s lunchtime speaker. He was tremendous. I can’t imagine one person left the room uninspired after hearing Seth speak. Seth had great control of his material, took charge of the room better than other “famous” speakers that I have seen, and his words and slide-show went together better than peanut-butter and jelly; it was smoother than smooth.

I could have listened to Seth for another 2-3 hours. “LEAD US” was Seth’s mantra.

At the start of Seth’s slide-show, picture after picture of Basset/Beagle “hound” dogs graced the screen. My good friends at the Arizona Basset Hound Rescue would have been beside themselves had they seen this presentation. Anyone who knows me also knows that I have a serious affection for hounds; any hound. Especially the ones that end up at my shelter...(notice the cushy bed!)

I “always” carry a family photo of me, Lynn, and all of my children (read dogs). Five of the six dogs in this photo are Bassett Hounds from shelters I have managed. The sixth dog is a rescue from when Lynn and I lived in Ohio and I worked corporate retail. I carry this photo with me everywhere -- to meetings, to lunch dates, to Board meetings, even to job interviews. You name it and I've found the time to pass this pic around the room (any room).

This picture has followed me through four different states. Ivy, one of the dogs in this photo, was recently claimed by cancer so the photo obviously means a great deal to me.

Since Seth showed a love for hounds in his slide-show, I wanted to show Seth my Bassets. During the signing of Seths book "Tribes" (great book!), I said, “Seth, I loved your presentation and wanted to share this with you” (as I handed him my family picture). I figured why not? Hound lovers love to share with other Hound lovers, right? Plus it’s always nice to talk to a guy with less hair than me...

Seth took the picture, smiled from ear to ear, and said “How nice; thanks”, as he tucked the picture to his immediate right.  Seth went on to sign my book and said, “Thanks for all you do Doug” and I walked away so the people behind me could have their books signed. But as you may have already guessed, I walked away without my picture. 

For someone as blunt as I am and who says what’s on his mind, I felt like the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz. I didn’t have an ounce of courage to ask for my picture back; a picture that had been with me for years.  

I shared the “Seth story” with my wife that night and Lynn laughed so hard I thought she was going to spit up her dinner. I wonder why Seth took my family picture and didn’t give it back, but really, why bother wondering that! This is Seth Godin; someone incredibly famous and he wanted my family picture. Though Seth probably doesn’t have my picture any longer, I still imagine that Seth carries a picture of my family with him everywhere he goes. That’s my story anyway, and I’m sticking to it….

The gender-face of animal welfare is also changing. Instead of being one of five or six guys in an incredibly large room dominated by females (as I was back in 2002 in at my first NMHP conference), I was surprised to see the number of males at this conference. I don't know the exact number, but I saw a lot of guys. This was a nice industry change. 

There is so more to share about the conference, but not from me, not tonight. There are articles on the conference online, and Facebook is loaded with information on the conference (No Kill Nation, No Kill Revolution, and a host of others), so I won’t rehash what's already been said.

So what did I take away from the conference?

First, I heard the vegan lunch at previous conferences was not very good. I am FAR from a vegetarian so I became worried. Lynn and I have tried to ride this wagon a few times over the last 13 years, but we always seem to fall off. Contrary to what I heard at the conference, and what I saw with my own eyes at the tables at lunchtime that weekend, I thoroughly enjoyed the vegan lunch ...... both days.

When I went out Saturday night in Washington, I didn’t order meat. Sunday night, no meat. Since I've returned from the conference, Lynn and I have gone out to eat twice and both times I ordered from the very tiny vegetarian box in the corner of the menu. Last night Lynn came home from work tired and said she needed to go to the Grocery store. So I said I’d go with her and push the cart and bag the groceries for her. As we were walking by the meat department, Lynn said, “You don't want meat anymore right?” Or when we went out to eat this weekend, Lynn said, “Did you see the vegetarian fajitas? I bet you’ll like them.”

I was hoping Nathan and Jennifer's new book, All American Vegan was for sale at the conference. Sadly it was not. When it was raffle time and their book was up for grabs, I sat in my chair doing the 2011 wireless version of a Spock mind-meld......“you will pick my number, you will pick my number….” No such luck. Had I won one of the bigger prizes in the raffle, I would have searched out the cook-book winner and bartered with him or her until I either had the book, or it was time for me to board my plane home.  

With some of the great speakers in attendance, informative topics being discussed, and with all of the uplifting speeches and presentations, you’d expect that I could have flown back home on the cloud that the conference created for me, right? Think again.

After I was away from all of the hoopla, all of the workshops, all of my friends, all of the people who I had just met for the first time, and Washington, DC -- what I really took away from the conference was that I was failing......................... failing the No-Kill movement.

Hence the reason for listening to John Maxwells book, “Failing Forward” in my car two hours a day all of last week. John says to, "Always measure an obstacle next to the size of the dream you are pursuing." Nice words to hold onto considering some of the battles in animal-welfare and what's at stake for the animals. 

For days now I thought back to the group of ladies that walked up me and said “Oh my God, you’re Doug Rae!!” and the gal, originally from Indianapolis, who introduced herself and expressed her displeasure with what happened to me in Indy, and asked if she could have her picture taken with me --- and I thought...

.... “Really people?.... Seriously?”  

I’m no Mitch Schneider, no Michael Mountain, no Ryan Clinton, no Bonnie Brown, I’m not even Nathan Winograd's long lost second-cousin. I’m not worthy to cut the toe-nails of Seth Godin's dog. Well, maybe I am now that Seth carries this picture with him….  

Sure the numbers seem to follow me, but nothing to shout off the mountain top. In Maryland we saved over 94% of the dogs but we still killed 68% of the cats, so there was nothing to report. In Philly, the save rate went as high as 73%, but Austin probably shot past 73% in day two after hiring a new Director; so nothing to report again.

At Indy, we crushed a previous adoption record by adopting 153 animals on the 4^th of July. Then a City-Councilor (whose BSL bill I wouldn’t support) came after me for breaking a city-ordinance pricing (I lowered the adopt fee to only $4), and then the Union cried foul claiming that I forced “his” employees to work till 10pm; so there was nothing to report yet again.

When is saving lives something bad? Enter Indianapolis.

When other cities (and Directors) were battling, fighting, knocking down walls and pushing aside the people that got in their way to achieve No-Kill success -- I knocked down the same walls, fought similar battles, and did what I do best -- Stood up for the animals at all cost; even if meant that my job might be in jeopardy. Yet unlike the Austin or Reno successes, I found myself writing about my termination.

Here’s the bottom-line; and I expect my lovely wife to not be happy with me for saying this. This year’s No-Kill conference proved ever so clearly that I’m not doing well enough. Not even close. I thought I was battling hard enough; I guess I wasn’t. I thought I had what was best for the animals as my guiding light; I suppose I didn’t. I thought I was motivated as much as Austin was to see the fight through to the end; I wasn't.

I found myself believing that I failed the No-Kill movement and the people that were waiting for another Reno-like moment. And I failed the one man who supported me through fight after fight, union after union, city after city, and so much more. My good friend Nathan.

As I write this I am keenly reminded of the day when Nathan called me and said,“Doug I need you to do this for me. I need you to do this for the movement.” Who in the No-Kill movement could ever say no to Nathan after he said that; I sure couldn't. So the conference demonstrated that I've failed the movement that Nathan asked me to help him with.

I’m sure that a certain animal control specialist from PETA would love to hear me take myself down as she's worked hard to destroy me, Nathan (and the entire No-Kill movement) down sitting behind a computer in her mother's dark and gloomy basement. But who cares about a “specialist” whose only success is saving 3% of the animals that she rescues. Now there's something to brag about at a family get together.

"Hey T, Aunt Millie wants to know what you do for a living again?" .... "I kill animals every day Uncle Bob. Lots and lots of them."

Virginia, where PETA is headquartered, was close to where the conference was held. But I’m sure PETA leadership was busy taking a course in anti-transparency at the CVS across from the Marvin Center, rather than learning how to save 97% of the animals in the building across the street.

So what do I do? Pack up shop, run back to retail with my arms in the surrender mode, while I ask someone else to knock the walls of animal-sheltering ignorance down for me, or allow someone else to fight the nasty battles for me, or plead for someone else to take the unpopular positions that no-one else wants to take? Not likely....

Seth Godin said "Lead Us" while Nathan Winograd said “Be the one." I heard them loud and clear.

I was wrong to think that I was failing the movement. I now realize that the only thing I failed at, was to not get up quick enough to fight another day, to fight harder than ever before, and to finish once and for all what I know I am capable of. 

"There is no doubt in my mind that there are many ways to be a winner, but there is really only one way to be a loser and that is to fail and not look beyond the failure." Kyle Rote Jr

Time to "Be the One." 

Home Sweet Home

“I’m on my way

Well I’m on my way

Home Sweet Home

Tonight Tonight

I’m on my way

I’m on my way

Home Sweet Home”

Motley Crue’s “Home Sweet Home” hit the charts in 1985. The lead singer of Linkin Park, Chester Bennington, teamed up with Crue after Hurricane Katrina and produced a touching video around this song. Carrie Underwood has a recent version out there as well. I’m sure this song has been performed by many more artists, but tonight -- tonight -- it's me singing "Home Sweet Home." 

I was born and raised in Massachusetts. In 1985 I moved two hours north to Southern New Hampshire where I would spend the next 15 years. It was in NH where I met my wife Lynn during her visit to NH to visit mutual friends. At the time Lynn lived and worked on the Gulf Coast. Soon thereafter Lynn would move to NH, and about one year later I asked her to marry me at an adorable Bed & Breakfast in Boothbay Harbor, Maine called the Greenleaf Inn.

Since moving away from New England almost 10 years ago we have lived in Ohio, Arizona, Maryland, and Indiana. Some of these areas we truly enjoyed living in, some were just okay, and one city we couldn't get away from fast enough.

Our first stop was Ohio as it was here where my job would take me. Northwest Ohio wasn’t wonderful for my family, but it wasn’t terribly horrible either. Ohio is where I put my dog Casey down which was an awfully difficult and emotional decision; but a decision that would place me on the path to leave corporate and enter animal-welfare as a career.

Ohio also brought us Simba. We adopted Sim from a local rescue group after seeing him online and hearing his story from his foster Mom Barb. Today Sim & I are best buds and our entire family loves him dearly.

Outside of New England, I don't believe I have ever seen a more beautiful park than "Wildwood Preserves" in Toledo. Being only a few hours west of Cleveland and an hour or so south of Detroit, catching a game when our beloved Boston Red Sox came to the area was always a treat. Lynn also got tickets to the Toledo Mud Hens from her boss, and if you have ever gone to a AAA ballgame you know that these games are good (and cheap) entertainment. Plus it's nice to watch professional athletes before their egos get out of control, and before they produce a ridiculous hour-long TV show announcing who their next employer will be. 

Holly, Kevin and Erin were wonderful neighbors in Ohio, and another neighbor, “Nails,” was a retired police officer that kept us on our toes. Ivy, our Basset Hound, loved this man, and Nails didn't take to kindly to me catching him talking 'baby talk' to Ivy. There was no question why this tough guy was called “Nails.” Our neighborhood, though void of a single mature tree, had a healthy, but respectable, competition on who had the best front lawn. Nails, Bob, and myself seemed to share the title each week, while my buddy Kevin could have cared less. 

Arizona is where my animal-sheltering career would begin but I won't discuss that career today. There were several things we loved about our three years living in Glendale, Arizona. The states natural beauty, the rather comfortable Glendale winters,, the hiking in Sedona, watching the Patriots beat the Cardinals, so much more; but the highpoint for us might be the folks from Arizona Basset Hound Rescue.

I became very close with these people, as AZBHR was a rescue partner that could be at my shelter, not in days, not in hours, but in minutes if I needed their help getting an animal out of my shelter (alive). They were wonderful to me as a Shelter Manager, warm to everyone in my family, and so very good for the entire community.

AZBHR's special events, that Lynn & I loved to be a part of throughout the year were simply so much fun to attend. I still remember an event that had 100 Basset's running free in a very spacious Scottsdale field (backyard). I miss the folks from AZBHR to this very day, especially Monique, and sadly, FaceBook updates just don’t cut it, but they help. Fantastic people for sure.

Adopting Briley, Ellie-Mae, Daphne and Nicholas from my shelter in Phoenix was a great time for us, and maybe better for them considering who their Mom is and what she does for them. We had one Basset when we got to town (Ivy), and left AZ with four more; and of course Simba our lab.

Animal welfare. Where taking work home is a good thing.

Just as I remember the gorgeous Arizona winters, I will never forget the summers. Local radio had bet's on what day in May would hit 100 degrees first. And please: 110 temps day after day is nasty weather to live in, so "...but it's a dry heat" doesn’t work for me. I would take a New England winter over a Phoenix summer any day of the week, though Lynn may argue that one.

If it was 110 degrees outside, the pool water wasn't much cooler. I love doing yard work but in the summer months yard work needed to be done by 9:30am, so fun turned into a chore. The only practical time to walk the dogs during the hot summer months in AZ was long after the sun went down and the sky was dark.

We never decorated our house in Glendale during the holiday's. Growing up in New England, it’s not really Christmas unless it's cold outside and snow is on the ground. I don’t believe we unpacked our holiday decorations once when living in AZ. Seeing holiday lights on homes and decorated palm trees when folks were walking around in shorts did little to put us in the holiday spirit either. Don't get me wrong, Arizona is a great state to live in, but there is a reason why folks head north in the summer. 

Our nice neighbors in Maryland, Judy & John Q, are retired folks that we miss dearly and who were very good friends of ours (and our dogs). We will never forget the first time we met Judy and what she was doing in her backyard with a snake. We lived in a small rancher that was surrounded by trees that backed up to a small creek. This means that “Critter Watching” in our backyard was an Olympic sport for our dogs, and maybe more so for the agile squirrels who always got the best of the dogs.

Maryland walking trails were beautifully sculpted to say the least. Some nights deer stood 30 feet from the trail never moving once as the dogs passed right by them. The people we met on Maryland trails were also very nice; unlike one city where mustering up a simple "smile" on a trail seemed to be a struggle.

A visit to Camden Yards (Baltimore) to see the Red Sox take on the Orioles was great fun since the park in Baltimore is considered Fenway South (at least in Boston). In other words, when the Sox visit Baltimore you would think the Sox were playing in Fenway Park, not Baltimore. I felt sorry for Oriole fans when Red Sox nation came to their town in droves.

No, not really, it was rather fun.

Half of Boston is Flying Southwest 
to Head to Fenway South This Weekend

I could write a TV mini-series speaking to the negativity, political dysfunction, lack of personal accountability, and the inconsiderate, selfish, "it's all about me" way of life that rules Indianapolis, but I’ll pass. There is little we will miss about Indianapolis, or even remotely liked enough to share in this post, but there is a "small handful" of people I will miss. They know who they are, and I hope that the these folks continue to treat "all" animals as the individuals that they are, with flexibility, and with the utmost respect. Anything less is a bad compromise...

This leads me to one man, only one person, who through the good and the bad times in Indy stood right by my side (and Lynn’s) and never, not once, wavered on his support; never forgot that I was unemployed and things were not easy for me or for Lynn; and truly exemplified the meaning of what it means to be a loyal and faithful friend to the very end.

Our very good friend Mike.

Mike with his best friend ever, Island Boy (lab) and Island's buddy Nubis in Tennessee.

Mike was my Board Treasurer who I met shortly after coming to Indianapolis. This man left the politics at the door when so many others allowed the politicking of Indianapolis to dictate their life-style. Mike remained focused on the homeless animals 100% of the time and never compromised his core values. He supported me in so many ways as the ACC Administrator but he really excelled in that support once I was fired, especially when so many others simply (and conveniently) walked away. But Mikes support started almost on the day we met each other.

After we couldn’t find what we were looking for in a new home, Mike told me about his second house that he was thinking of selling. That house was far more than what we were looking for for the dogs (1.5 acres), much more than what Lynn had expected to live in after what she saw (or didn't see) over two days looking with a realtor, and thanks to Mike’s generosity, this house was also 'well within our price range.' We would buy Mikes home and become very close friends of his.

Mike would call me on a regular basis and invite us over to his house for dinner, offer to take us to his favorite Mexican restaurant, or take us to his country club for a nice night out with fine food, fine wine, and finer conversation. Mike knew money was tight for my family after I was fired, and he always seemed to be there when we needed support the most. Being in a new town with no friends or family is always hard, so Mike made sure we felt welcome with him our entire time in Indy. 

One day Mike called to see how we were doing and during that call I shared how the finances were tight being out of work. Mike happily offered to give us a short-term loan to get us through. I was floored that he would think of such a thing having only met us a few months earlier. We respectfully declined his offer, but what a kind and thoughtful gesture. A sincere gesture that we may never forget. 

When needed a minor home repair Mike sent someone over to fix it for us. When the repairman was leaving I asked what I owed him. His reply? “Oh no, you are Mr. Mike’s friend. Nothing” Last winter a few storms ripped through the area and our roof took a beating. Mike suggested I call “his guy.” Thanks to Mike, a new roof was put on our house and it didn’t cost us a single penny. Goodness, Mike even left behind his riding lawn mower when he sold us his home! What a great guy!

When the New England Patriots came to Indianapolis, Mike "gave" us two tickets to the game; his season tickets no less! As Lynn & I made our way up the Lucas Oil stadium stairs that night, each of us wearing a Patriots jersey, it was clear that the folks who sit next to Mike all year long were not happy as we got closer to them. We hadn't even sat down and the looks and sneers had started. This is to be expected from a city full of people who decide what their day-to-day attitude will be like based on the results of Sundays football game. Not Mike. 

Although Mike significantly helped me in my job search, I knew in Mike’s heart of hearts that he didn’t want us to leave Indy. A good example was during a recent job interview. Mike made the offer to “fly out” to the city (on his dime), and speak to the full Board on my behalf. In this day and age, who offers to do such a thoughtful thing? For the record Lynn ‘never’ really wanted to come to Indianapolis, so to get her to stay in this city after people showed their true colors (especially to Lynn) would never have happened. Ever.

Sorry Michael. 

Mike was also one of my job references and he followed up a recent reference call with a thoughtful email to the employer promoting me even more. Mike even attached a letter of reference to this email that Mike had written about me. When I was asked back for a second interview, Mike invited us over to his house the night before the interview. Mike asked me a few times that night to call him and let him know how the second interview went. 

Upon returning home two days later, my cell phone rang; it was Mike. “How did the interview go? Did you get the job?” My plate was so full that I had forgotten to call my good friend Mike. Not surprisingly, Mike didn't forget me. No he never forgot me or my family one time, and just maybe, just maybe, Mike considered what happened to me in Indy his problem to help me with, rather than say, "Oh well. Best of luck to you Doug."

Mike also invited us over to his 'family get togethers.' You see, Mike considers us a part of his family, and we consider Mike a part of ours. Lynn loves this man with all her heart, and she is easily brought to tears when she talks about how she will miss him. There is only "one" other thing about Indy that can bring Lynn to tears, just one. Tears of joy when Lynn sees Indianapolis in her rearview mirror as she waves goodbye forever. 

In a city where integrity is harder to find than a snowflake in Phoenix, Mike puts the 'I' in Integrity and the 'F' in Friendship. "IF" everyone had a fraction of Mike's honorable integrity, and a small taste of his gracious friendship, imagine what a wonderful place the world would be.

So when the score was 19-3 in the bottom of the ninth, and when most folks rooting for a big win before the game started had long left the ballpark to support another team (or themselves), Mike supported his team to the very end of the game. Right to the very last out had been recorded. Mike simply couldn't turn his back on his team until he had done all that he could. Now that's a true fan....

OK. As you have seen, we spent time in many different states. Some we lived in. Others we worked in. Still others we visited for a day or two. Maybe for an end of the year conference, travel for my job, educational seminars, a job interview, vacation, or a family get-together. Whatever the reason, it's rather nice to visit a new area for the very first time. That feeling can be startling to the inner soul as one can be encompassed with a sense of joy and newness, or it can be downright unsettling to your soul due to the negative energies that abound in the area.

In June I interviewed for a job in New England where I spent the vast majority of my life. I drove from Indy to New England for the first interview and planned time with family back east around this trip. A few days after the initial interview I was asked back for a second; an invitation that I gladly accepted!

Once back in New England for the second interview, I found myself with three hours to burn before I needed to be at the airport to catch my return flight home. After speaking with a lovely local in the hotel lobby, and after meeting with a few other nice folks that morning, I jumped in my rental car, got on the historic (and beautiful) Route 1A, and casually headed toward the airport via the scenic coast line. 

As I passed shop after shop, beach after beach, New England(y) restaurant after restaurant, and some stunning views, I stopped now and then to take in the natural beauty of the area. The smell of the ocean air, the sound of sea gulls, the tranquility of waves breaking against the shore, just to name a few. There was much more to take in, so much to enjoy, so much to see, and regrettably, not enough time to do it all in. It wasn’t until I was driving through a small town that majestically gave way to a gorgeous view that I stopped and got out of my car.

As the waves crashed below my legs which now hung over the wall that I was sitting on...

...I realized that though this was New England, it was a part of New England that I had never visited before, but today, it wasn't like past visits to a new part of the country. I never felt this way before. Not even close. Not in Ohio. Not in Arizona. Not in Maryland. Not in Indianapolis. Not anywhere in this country and not anywhere we have visited overseas. Today was different. 

I was so relaxed. So very comfortable. So not a tourist 'passing through town.' I was at peace with everything around me. The familiarity with my surroundings was astonishing as I had never been there before. I felt like I had sat on that wall every Saturday since I was a young boy. Being so keenly in-tune that day I probably could have described the woman’s perfume sitting on the wall 20 yards to my left. Not once that day did I say, "I hope I get the job!" No, I knew deep in my soul that I had the job well before I received the call today saying it was a go. Every single thing about that trip, no matter how small or how big, seemed so right to the very soul.

As I sat overlooking the ocean, I thought about my Mother being less than 2 hours away. My sister 2 hours to the north. My niece 40 minutes away who I simply adore and who misses her Uncle 'D.' Aunt's, Uncle's, nephews, cousins, old friends, and countless memories are sprinkled throughout Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut and Rhode Island; all but a very short drive from where I was sitting.

To top it all off, the Ocean that Lynn loves so much, and that was high on her list to be near again one day, is now a Pedro Martinez long-toss from where I just interviewed. Sure, I might have been in a brand new area as I contemplated all of this on that wall by the ocean, but in my head, in my heart, in my soul -- I was home again, and no-one could have told me differently.

So as I prayed, prayed some more, and prayed even more -- I kept faith that one day, when the time was right, I would return home to New England with Lynn right by my side. That day is today, and the time has never felt more right for my heart to cry out, "I'm on my way. Just set me free. Home Sweet Home."

"You have given him his hearts desire, and not withheld the request from his lips" ~ Psalm 21:2

Budget Cuts

Hello Doug

Congratulations !!!

We are very happy to inform you that your name appear on the facebook deaf help promotion and we are giving you the total sum of $200,000 USD ( Two Hundred Thousand United States Dollars ).

Your name was selected by Mr Mark Zuckerberg the CEO of Facebook ( Founder & Chief Executive Officer ) The promotion was made to make all Facebook user benefit from the gain the company made Facebook is a the first and ever largest means of meeting both old and new friend.

You are advised to contact the payment department with your full name and address  to (email omitted) so that they can proceed and give you the money in real cash.

_______________________________________________

Reading this email on my Facebook account made my head hurt.

Mrs. Winterlee, my favorite grade school teacher, would have fallen down and hurt herself if she read this. If nothing else, she would have hand-slapped her forehead in disbelief. 

Oh well, we could have used an extra $200 this month never mind an extra $200,000. With the economy being what it is, I have to believe that average folks like you and me are cutting back. Maybe not cutting back all that much, but depending on your circumstances, maybe more so than last year or the year before. Then again, maybe not.

iPad sales topped 300,000 units in the first day of it's release. Not bad for a lousy economy. No doubt the upcoming iPhone will fly off the shelves even as the Android phone's invade America. No matter what today's economy means to you and to your family, our household has made cuts at the very basic level. Being unemployed will do that to you. 

Keeping up with the hometown teams since moving from New England has not been that easy or that cheap. We need DirecTV to get sports packages so we can watch the New England football games or the Red Sox baseball games. “Do you know how much we spend on DirectTV every month?” could be a mantra for my wife.

That bill would be much higher if I still followed the Boston Bruins. I haven’t followed the Bruins for quite some time. I simply can't justify the dollars to buy the football package, the baseball package, AND the hockey package; so the Bruins lost out. Too bad, I played organized hockey when I was 7 yrs old and played right through my school years. Watching the Bruins win a playoff game in double overtime last week made me remember just how much the game still means to me.

First of the family budget cuts would be the MLB (baseball) package. No more Red Sox games on TV, not that I watched a ballgame 'live' from beginning to end anyway. Those days, thankfully and gloriously ended with the invention of the DVR. Today it's Sox highlights on the Internet rather than games on TV, and the monthly DirecTV bill is looking far better for it. As is Lynn.

Date nights with my wife have disappeared. There was no talk about eliminating them; it just happened. We still go out, but not regularly, and not to the restaurants we loved to go to. No more telling our server, “We aren’t ready to order, we would like to enjoy our wine first.” I haven’t had a glass of wine, well, I can’t recall the last time I ordered a glass of wine. Don’t worry ladies, Lynn still orders wine when we go out but it's with her meal. There are some things you just don’t ask your wife to give up.

Appetizers? Extra bread and olive oil please. If I'm deciding between two dishes and one is $2 or $3 less than the other, I'll go with the cheaper dish. Dessert? $6.99 for Bananas Foster? Nah, we'll do chips and dip, or I'll do cookies and milk later on. A late lunch usually means no dinner these days, and scouring the Internet for a “buy one get one” coupon has become second nature.  

John Maxwell has a new book, “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect.” I think very highly of John for so many reasons, both professionally and personally. His work has made a vast difference in who I am today and how (and why) I live my life as I do. From John's “21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership” to the “Maxwell Leadership Bible,” and many of his books and devotionals in between, John means a good deal to me. Sadly, buying John's new book is not going to happen this week, not next week, maybe not even next month.

Allison, a good friend of ours, asked us to attend her annual fundraiser event last week. We would have loved to have gone since we went last year and had quite a nice time, but at the end of the day we just didn't have the money. There are many more cutbacks like vitamins, supplements, movies, etc., and though we have made several, there is one area that may never be cutback.

We all want our pets to have the best of everything, especially when the pet was rescued from a shelter or pulled out of a bad situation. Having one of these guys in your home means that just being "okay" to your pet doesn't cut it. No, it's about going above and beyond "OK", maybe even off the charts when considering the care, and the love, and the devotion that we give to these animals (and they give to us in return). If you ever rescued a pet (or fostered a cat or dog) you understand what I mean.

For those who know me, you know how emotional and passionate I can get over shelter animals, and you also know my feelings about shelter cats and dogs and what they can do for you (the human), what you can do for them (maybe for the first time in their life), and the incredible bond between rescued animals once in a safe loving home....

.....or a multitude of other things I could discuss about homeless and rescued animals, but that is for another day.

In light of the recent budget cuts, our dogs still get the natural dry dog food. The organic dog food. The Gold standard of dog food. The food heads and shoulders above the other foods. You know the kind. We have been buying pet food from ‘specialty stores’ since Lynn and I first combined our families 10 years ago. The days of feeding Casey, 'Nutro and Milk-bones', and Riggs, 'Tender Vittles and Meow Mix," left the day that I asked Lynn to marry me.

It takes a good amount of food to feed five dogs, and the food we buy is not cheap. I could probably eat the dog's food and the only side effect might be that I lose more of my hair which is why I don't eat it. In fact, I got up today and Lynn told me my hair was standing straight up. My Reply? "I'm thankful that I still have enough hair to do that." I digress...

Buying natural dog food in our house has been second nature to us and for the obvious reason alone. Our dogs are, and have been incredibly healthy, and for those that know Simba ...

... you know he still looks and acts like a 3yr old pup; surely not the 12yr old man that he is. Some of our dogs came to us with horrible skin conditions, unhealthy coats, or had skin allergy's that would eventually go away never to be seen again. Though Ivy just lost her battle with cancer we have not had many health issues with our pets. I'm certain this is due to the food that they are fed.

Asking Lynn to cut back on pet food would be sacrilegious. That comment would not end well, it would not be pretty. Like, well…maybe like when the Patriots lost to the Colts after being up 17 points, or when Bill went for it on 4th and 2 from his own 28 yard line … at a game in Indy that Lynn had to sneak out of wearing a Tom Brady jersey no less.

In other words, asking my wife to cut back on the dogs in any way shape of form would not end well; just like it didn't for Bill on that frightful night in Indianapolis....

... and just like it didn't for the Patriots and their fans. 

Reggie Wayne catches the game-winning touchdown as the Indianapolis Colts stun the New England   Patriots, 35-34, after Bill Belichick goes for it on fourth-and-2 deep in his own territory.

Five dogs drink an awful lot of water so rather than using tap or reverse osmosis water for the dogs, 5 gallon bottles of spring water are shipped in. Lynn and I don’t get any of this water; it's only for the dogs. I drink the working class reverse osmosis water. Even in the midst of all the household budget cuts, the bottled water for the dogs still shows up. 

Dog treats? They are not called treats, they are “cookies.” Our pets have always gotten the expensive cookies thanks to Lynn, the all-natural cookies – they still do. Recently I called Lynn to ask if she needed me to pick up anything on the way home. She wanted dog cookies, but not just any dog cookie, and not from any store -- there were only two stores that I could go to.

When I arrived at the store I called Lynn and told her about the 5 brands I was looking at. There was this brand, and that one, and another one called “Yummy Dog Treats.” Natural treats, I think they were even vegan. “Get the Yummy Dog treats,” Lynn said. So I read off all the flavors. Peanut Butter Medley, Chefs Selection, Beddah Chedda and Lucky Dog are some I remember. There were many more to choose from. 

Lynn said to get a box of ‘Beddah Chedda’ and a box of 'Lucky Dog.' I grabbed one of each but saw that the Lucky Dog flavor was $2 more than all the others, so I told Lynn that I’d get a cheaper kind.

Poor choice of words.

Lynn would have none of this. She wanted the Lucky Dog flavor even if it was $2 more. "Yes dear," as I calmly hung up my phone.

Since we were cutting back on things the dogs can certainly do their part, right? Sure, so I made an executive decision and put the box of Lucky Dog cookies back and grabbed one that was $2 cheaper, Peanut Butter Medley. Not only was this flavor cheaper, it sounded far tastier! 

As I walked away with a package of Beddah Chedda and a box of Peanut Butter Medley, I took all of five steps, stopped, and said to myself, “Man, this is going to cost me far more than $2.” So I turned around, put the box of Peanut Butter cookies back, and grabbed a box of Lucky Dog. All the way to the checkout I prayed that the Lucky Dog cookies would be a pricing mistake. God must have been busy... they rang up exactly as they were priced, $2 more.

Breakfast for our pets is a production equal to the Phantom of the Opera, at least on Mrs. Winterlee’s sliding scale. The morning starts with Lynn cooking “fresh vegetables” for the dogs. Broccoli, carrots, cauliflower. Maybe not all three but surely two of them, and surely every day of the week.

  

When the vegetables are done Lynn lets them cool on the counter while she starts to dish out the dry food. You would think that cooked vegetables and organic dry food is more than enough to satisfy the palate of a canine. Not for Lynn.

Time to pull out one of the 2lb tubs of natural yogurt. Today Lynn ran out of ‘dog yogurt’ so she opened up one of my Yoplait French Vanilla yogurts and dished that out for Simba. Depending on the dog, they also may get salmon oil, tuna fish, even Glucosamine, Chondroitin, B-Complex or Garlic supplements on top of everything else. Yes, it's quite the event.

Lynn keenly knows the RDA for each dog in our home, so depending on what a dog may or may not need on a given day, some dogs also get eggs 'cooked over medium,' while other dogs may get a raw egg on top of the dry food, and right next to the fresh veges. Not the small white eggs from Marsh mind you, but the large brown ‘organic’ eggs!

Yesterdays breakfast. Cooked organic eggs with fresh broccoli and carrots...while Nicholas gets a raw egg in his dish.

Today's breakfast. Tuna, broccoli, cauliflower and a dash of yogurt for flavor.....

I'm lucky if I get a yogurt and a banana in the morning.

I do not feed my own pets, I'm not allowed too. I highly doubt my pets would want me feeding them anyway. Just ask Briley who doesn't take her eye off of Mom the ENTIRE time during 'breakfast' preparation.

These are pictures of Bri from two different days.

If Briley stays in this stiff position too long, the poor girls starts to shake in anticipation. Really, she does.

So I had a fair amount of fun with this, and maybe someone is thinking it was at my wife's expense. That would be the farthest thing from the truth. Lynn does far more than feed the dogs a gourmet meal. She is one of those people I mentioned earlier that is "off the charts" with animals. Lynn has simply done so much for the animals in our family, for the animals she briefly met as a foster parent, for the animals I brought home for a short break from the shelter, and for the animals no longer with her that she will meet again soon enough, that I simply can't find the words to describe how incredible she is.


Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious comes to mind.

If the pets in our house could talk, they would tell you that Lynn is the true meaning of a 'servant leader' in a life-role. She would make John Maxwell proud. Goodness, I know several animals that are proud to call Lynn their Mom, who adore this woman with all their heart and soul, and who cherish her every move. Moreover, there is one (hu)man proud to call Lynn his wife, his best friend, and his true love.

So though we are making slashes in the budget and the dogs aren't part of the cutback equation, that's just fine. It's actually perfect and I wouldn't want it any other way. I'll just order ice tea with the days special.

*****************************************************************************
P.S. I was speaking with my mother in law and she told me how just bad it is at her home in Arkansas, miles and miles away from where the tornado's actually touched down. Bev is one of the lucky ones living down south - many others were not so lucky. Please stop for a moment and pray for the folks devastated by the tornado's this past weekend ~ Doug