Budget Cuts

Hello Doug

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Reading this email on my Facebook account made my head hurt.

Mrs. Winterlee, my favorite grade school teacher, would have fallen down and hurt herself if she read this. If nothing else, she would have hand-slapped her forehead in disbelief. 

Oh well, we could have used an extra $200 this month never mind an extra $200,000. With the economy being what it is, I have to believe that average folks like you and me are cutting back. Maybe not cutting back all that much, but depending on your circumstances, maybe more so than last year or the year before. Then again, maybe not.

iPad sales topped 300,000 units in the first day of it's release. Not bad for a lousy economy. No doubt the upcoming iPhone will fly off the shelves even as the Android phone's invade America. No matter what today's economy means to you and to your family, our household has made cuts at the very basic level. Being unemployed will do that to you. 

Keeping up with the hometown teams since moving from New England has not been that easy or that cheap. We need DirecTV to get sports packages so we can watch the New England football games or the Red Sox baseball games. “Do you know how much we spend on DirectTV every month?” could be a mantra for my wife.

That bill would be much higher if I still followed the Boston Bruins. I haven’t followed the Bruins for quite some time. I simply can't justify the dollars to buy the football package, the baseball package, AND the hockey package; so the Bruins lost out. Too bad, I played organized hockey when I was 7 yrs old and played right through my school years. Watching the Bruins win a playoff game in double overtime last week made me remember just how much the game still means to me.

First of the family budget cuts would be the MLB (baseball) package. No more Red Sox games on TV, not that I watched a ballgame 'live' from beginning to end anyway. Those days, thankfully and gloriously ended with the invention of the DVR. Today it's Sox highlights on the Internet rather than games on TV, and the monthly DirecTV bill is looking far better for it. As is Lynn.

Date nights with my wife have disappeared. There was no talk about eliminating them; it just happened. We still go out, but not regularly, and not to the restaurants we loved to go to. No more telling our server, “We aren’t ready to order, we would like to enjoy our wine first.” I haven’t had a glass of wine, well, I can’t recall the last time I ordered a glass of wine. Don’t worry ladies, Lynn still orders wine when we go out but it's with her meal. There are some things you just don’t ask your wife to give up.

Appetizers? Extra bread and olive oil please. If I'm deciding between two dishes and one is $2 or $3 less than the other, I'll go with the cheaper dish. Dessert? $6.99 for Bananas Foster? Nah, we'll do chips and dip, or I'll do cookies and milk later on. A late lunch usually means no dinner these days, and scouring the Internet for a “buy one get one” coupon has become second nature.  

John Maxwell has a new book, “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect.” I think very highly of John for so many reasons, both professionally and personally. His work has made a vast difference in who I am today and how (and why) I live my life as I do. From John's “21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership” to the “Maxwell Leadership Bible,” and many of his books and devotionals in between, John means a good deal to me. Sadly, buying John's new book is not going to happen this week, not next week, maybe not even next month.

Allison, a good friend of ours, asked us to attend her annual fundraiser event last week. We would have loved to have gone since we went last year and had quite a nice time, but at the end of the day we just didn't have the money. There are many more cutbacks like vitamins, supplements, movies, etc., and though we have made several, there is one area that may never be cutback.

We all want our pets to have the best of everything, especially when the pet was rescued from a shelter or pulled out of a bad situation. Having one of these guys in your home means that just being "okay" to your pet doesn't cut it. No, it's about going above and beyond "OK", maybe even off the charts when considering the care, and the love, and the devotion that we give to these animals (and they give to us in return). If you ever rescued a pet (or fostered a cat or dog) you understand what I mean.

For those who know me, you know how emotional and passionate I can get over shelter animals, and you also know my feelings about shelter cats and dogs and what they can do for you (the human), what you can do for them (maybe for the first time in their life), and the incredible bond between rescued animals once in a safe loving home....

.....or a multitude of other things I could discuss about homeless and rescued animals, but that is for another day.

In light of the recent budget cuts, our dogs still get the natural dry dog food. The organic dog food. The Gold standard of dog food. The food heads and shoulders above the other foods. You know the kind. We have been buying pet food from ‘specialty stores’ since Lynn and I first combined our families 10 years ago. The days of feeding Casey, 'Nutro and Milk-bones', and Riggs, 'Tender Vittles and Meow Mix," left the day that I asked Lynn to marry me.

It takes a good amount of food to feed five dogs, and the food we buy is not cheap. I could probably eat the dog's food and the only side effect might be that I lose more of my hair which is why I don't eat it. In fact, I got up today and Lynn told me my hair was standing straight up. My Reply? "I'm thankful that I still have enough hair to do that." I digress...

Buying natural dog food in our house has been second nature to us and for the obvious reason alone. Our dogs are, and have been incredibly healthy, and for those that know Simba ...

... you know he still looks and acts like a 3yr old pup; surely not the 12yr old man that he is. Some of our dogs came to us with horrible skin conditions, unhealthy coats, or had skin allergy's that would eventually go away never to be seen again. Though Ivy just lost her battle with cancer we have not had many health issues with our pets. I'm certain this is due to the food that they are fed.

Asking Lynn to cut back on pet food would be sacrilegious. That comment would not end well, it would not be pretty. Like, well…maybe like when the Patriots lost to the Colts after being up 17 points, or when Bill went for it on 4th and 2 from his own 28 yard line … at a game in Indy that Lynn had to sneak out of wearing a Tom Brady jersey no less.

In other words, asking my wife to cut back on the dogs in any way shape of form would not end well; just like it didn't for Bill on that frightful night in Indianapolis....

... and just like it didn't for the Patriots and their fans. 

Reggie Wayne catches the game-winning touchdown as the Indianapolis Colts stun the New England   Patriots, 35-34, after Bill Belichick goes for it on fourth-and-2 deep in his own territory.

Five dogs drink an awful lot of water so rather than using tap or reverse osmosis water for the dogs, 5 gallon bottles of spring water are shipped in. Lynn and I don’t get any of this water; it's only for the dogs. I drink the working class reverse osmosis water. Even in the midst of all the household budget cuts, the bottled water for the dogs still shows up. 

Dog treats? They are not called treats, they are “cookies.” Our pets have always gotten the expensive cookies thanks to Lynn, the all-natural cookies – they still do. Recently I called Lynn to ask if she needed me to pick up anything on the way home. She wanted dog cookies, but not just any dog cookie, and not from any store -- there were only two stores that I could go to.

When I arrived at the store I called Lynn and told her about the 5 brands I was looking at. There was this brand, and that one, and another one called “Yummy Dog Treats.” Natural treats, I think they were even vegan. “Get the Yummy Dog treats,” Lynn said. So I read off all the flavors. Peanut Butter Medley, Chefs Selection, Beddah Chedda and Lucky Dog are some I remember. There were many more to choose from. 

Lynn said to get a box of ‘Beddah Chedda’ and a box of 'Lucky Dog.' I grabbed one of each but saw that the Lucky Dog flavor was $2 more than all the others, so I told Lynn that I’d get a cheaper kind.

Poor choice of words.

Lynn would have none of this. She wanted the Lucky Dog flavor even if it was $2 more. "Yes dear," as I calmly hung up my phone.

Since we were cutting back on things the dogs can certainly do their part, right? Sure, so I made an executive decision and put the box of Lucky Dog cookies back and grabbed one that was $2 cheaper, Peanut Butter Medley. Not only was this flavor cheaper, it sounded far tastier! 

As I walked away with a package of Beddah Chedda and a box of Peanut Butter Medley, I took all of five steps, stopped, and said to myself, “Man, this is going to cost me far more than $2.” So I turned around, put the box of Peanut Butter cookies back, and grabbed a box of Lucky Dog. All the way to the checkout I prayed that the Lucky Dog cookies would be a pricing mistake. God must have been busy... they rang up exactly as they were priced, $2 more.

Breakfast for our pets is a production equal to the Phantom of the Opera, at least on Mrs. Winterlee’s sliding scale. The morning starts with Lynn cooking “fresh vegetables” for the dogs. Broccoli, carrots, cauliflower. Maybe not all three but surely two of them, and surely every day of the week.

  

When the vegetables are done Lynn lets them cool on the counter while she starts to dish out the dry food. You would think that cooked vegetables and organic dry food is more than enough to satisfy the palate of a canine. Not for Lynn.

Time to pull out one of the 2lb tubs of natural yogurt. Today Lynn ran out of ‘dog yogurt’ so she opened up one of my Yoplait French Vanilla yogurts and dished that out for Simba. Depending on the dog, they also may get salmon oil, tuna fish, even Glucosamine, Chondroitin, B-Complex or Garlic supplements on top of everything else. Yes, it's quite the event.

Lynn keenly knows the RDA for each dog in our home, so depending on what a dog may or may not need on a given day, some dogs also get eggs 'cooked over medium,' while other dogs may get a raw egg on top of the dry food, and right next to the fresh veges. Not the small white eggs from Marsh mind you, but the large brown ‘organic’ eggs!

Yesterdays breakfast. Cooked organic eggs with fresh broccoli and carrots...while Nicholas gets a raw egg in his dish.

Today's breakfast. Tuna, broccoli, cauliflower and a dash of yogurt for flavor.....

I'm lucky if I get a yogurt and a banana in the morning.

I do not feed my own pets, I'm not allowed too. I highly doubt my pets would want me feeding them anyway. Just ask Briley who doesn't take her eye off of Mom the ENTIRE time during 'breakfast' preparation.

These are pictures of Bri from two different days.

If Briley stays in this stiff position too long, the poor girls starts to shake in anticipation. Really, she does.

So I had a fair amount of fun with this, and maybe someone is thinking it was at my wife's expense. That would be the farthest thing from the truth. Lynn does far more than feed the dogs a gourmet meal. She is one of those people I mentioned earlier that is "off the charts" with animals. Lynn has simply done so much for the animals in our family, for the animals she briefly met as a foster parent, for the animals I brought home for a short break from the shelter, and for the animals no longer with her that she will meet again soon enough, that I simply can't find the words to describe how incredible she is.


Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious comes to mind.

If the pets in our house could talk, they would tell you that Lynn is the true meaning of a 'servant leader' in a life-role. She would make John Maxwell proud. Goodness, I know several animals that are proud to call Lynn their Mom, who adore this woman with all their heart and soul, and who cherish her every move. Moreover, there is one (hu)man proud to call Lynn his wife, his best friend, and his true love.

So though we are making slashes in the budget and the dogs aren't part of the cutback equation, that's just fine. It's actually perfect and I wouldn't want it any other way. I'll just order ice tea with the days special.

*****************************************************************************
P.S. I was speaking with my mother in law and she told me how just bad it is at her home in Arkansas, miles and miles away from where the tornado's actually touched down. Bev is one of the lucky ones living down south - many others were not so lucky. Please stop for a moment and pray for the folks devastated by the tornado's this past weekend ~ Doug

Sincerity at its core...

When’s the last time you ‘hugged’ someone? Yes, hugged.

At a family get together at the holidays? When your spouse or significant other comes home from work or leaves for the day? At your nephews baseball game when you saw your brother or sister for the first time in weeks, months? Maybe when you ran into your friend at the mall that you haven’t spoken with for some time? Whatever the reason, we all hug, if not on a regular basis, than surely annually; and if not sincerely, then surely casually.

Now when’s the last time you hugged someone to the letter of the true meaning of the word hugged? “To clasp or hold closely, especially in the arms, as in affection; embrace.” Another meaning of hugged is “to cherish.” This is the hug that I speak of today. The hug, the ‘embrace,’ that is meant to, “cherish…as in affection.”

Last week I received an email from a friend telling me about an adoption event this weekend and she invited me to stop by. I haven’t been to an offsite adoption event in quite some time for many reasons that may or may not be obvious to you, and for reasons that I don’t want to get into here, but the timing of this request just felt right. Considering the many positive responses to my recent post, http://dougrae.blogspot.com/2010/04/faith-letters-and-shattered-dreams.html it seemed very appropriate to attend this event. So I asked Lynn if she wanted to go. Lynn worked this morning, and she’s off to work tonight, but she had time in the middle of the day, and like me, Lynn wanted to go, so off we went.

The location for the event was familiar but the exact address was not. I knew we were close so I grabbed a parking spot on the road not knowing where the exact building was. It was then that I spotted a ‘Big Red Dog’ down the street acting like someone just asked him, “Wanna go for a walk?” You know what I mean. Jumping all around, acting like a big goof, and not a care in the world as he spins in circles in wild excitement.

“It must be over there,” I said to Lynn.

My Lab is probably the smartest dog that I have ever lived with; maybe even met. Casey would have something to say about that, but Simba simply amazes me at some of the things he does or can figure out on his own. He’s simply amazing; but the ‘Big Red Dog’ by the street today? Simba can’t hold a candle to him. Not only could this dog crazy dance, a cappela at that, but this dog also had great customer service skills; something maybe, perhaps, probably – is sadly absent in the animal-welfare world. Not today.

As we approached the front entranceway the dog headed to the door and opened the door for Lynn as he extended a paw as if to say, “This way madam.” Just then, a woman came around the corner walking a dog. I saw her, she saw me. She let out a scream like a mouse that just took the cheese, only to turn around and see a cat tipping his cap. I walked over and immediately received a sizeable (and caring) hug, as would Lynn.

Then the smarty-pants red dog decapitated himself just to show us that he knew us as well. I hadn’t seen either of these nice folks for some time. I walked inside of the building after exchanging pleasantries. Holy man! Volunteers were everywhere, some standing, some sitting on the floor with dogs, some at informational tables, some in the back with the cats. Volunteers were everywhere. Plenty of adoptable dogs in the front of the building and plenty of adoptable cats in the back of the building. The customer traffic was also quite high for this Saturday; probably in large part to the gifted red dog.

When I walked into the building I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in a while, another sincere hug. Another friend to her left, this one grooming a dog… another hug. Over there, another woman… another hug. A friend walked towards me that I hadn’t seen for some time, so I extended my hand to shake his. He shook my hand and said, “Get over here!” as he pulled me close and hugged me; very sincerely at that. Yet another person over there; another hug over here. People were everywhere. Several folks who clearly knew me but I couldn’t immediately remember their name also made it a point to say hi. People like Allen.

I first met Allen at an offsite event last year, probably 4, 5, 6 months after I came to Indy.  I only remember it was a wicked hot day. When I walked in and Allen saw me he acted as if I was Bon Jovi and he had all of my albums. For the life of me I would not have been able to articulate a valid reason why Allen was so excited to meet me; but it was straight from his heart, and no matter what the reason, it meant a good deal to me then, and still does to this day. I didn’t remember Allen’s name when I saw him today but when I politely asked for a reminder, Allen responded with a rather witty statement, in a somewhat neat voice, that I wish I could share in this post, but won’t since some may not appreciate Allen’s clever but appropriate humor. I on the other hand did appreciate it.

At one point during the day a kind man with a megaphone made an announcement that had the flavor of a county fair ‘carny.’ Considering the level of noise in the building with dogs barking, humans speaking loudly, and a red dog dancing in the street with Martha and the Vandella’s in his mind, I fully understand the megaphone. A megaphone is a great way to announce adoptions and whatnot when it's so loud; but not this time. This time he talked about how Lynn and myself were in the building and in short, welcomed us to “their” event. The whole building clapped and looked our way, or so it seemed.

This was a bit uncomfortable on a personal level, since the “all about Doug Rae” moments are better served for the other guy, not for me. So as I graciously smiled and acknowledged the response, I caught the eyes of a young woman down the way. Her head was tilted ever so slightly to her right, she had a slight smile on her face, and I noticed that her eyes had started to glass over as she was clapping for Lynn and me.  It was as genuine of a moment as I can remember. She could not have articulated anything close to what she was saying with her body language. It was real, it was genuine, it was from her heart.

Someone said that my showing up, “…made his entire day.” I said, “C’mon, that’s much don’t you think?” “No really, this means a lot to all of us,” he said as he shook my hand and genuinely smiled at Lynn. Earlier in the day, a woman named Rhonda, a supporter through the good and the bad times, was walking toward me. I walked over to Rhonda and said, “It's good to see you” as I hugged her, which was the very first time we had hugged (I believe). What I was feeling from Rhonda was awfully sincere, as were the earlier hugs and smiles and handshakes from others, as was the announcement thanking Lynn and me for being there. This is when it hit me; at the very moment I was hugging Rhonda.  

The level of sincerity toward Lynn and myself today, well, it was off the charts. Simply positively off the charts. Baseball fan? It was a 550-foot homerun. Stock guy? The Dow is up 200 points. It was that big. The sincerity I was feeling throughout the day, and the love that some people knowingly or unknowingly had in their heart surely wasn’t mandated by the person in charge of today’s event, and it certainly wasn’t phony, no, it was unadulterated sincerity, and it was in abundance.  

Lynn bought raffle tickets for a ‘basket of goodies’ today. I didn’t know she did this until we were in the car on our way home and she was talking about a book in that basket. There were other things available to raise money for the organization at the event, and if the "sincerity" that I received from so many today had also been for sale; I would have bought a bottle of the stuff. No, I would have bought a case. Heck, I would have had it auto-shipped to my front door every month. It was that good. It was that special. It was that real.

So I ask you? When was the last time you really and truly hugged someone with all of your heart, and for all the right reasons? Unquestionably the person getting the hug is far better for receiving it, or at least I hope so, but it’s also meaningful and deeply moving for ‘you.’ It’s a win-win, and you won’t find it at Macy’s, or in your mailbox, or on your Facebook or Twitter page. It’s something that is uniquely yours, that only you can monitor, is not all that hard to find, and only you can share.

Your heart – share it today. Share it sincerely.


Doug

Please support these wonderful people...... 

Contact them at ~ 

info@retailsindy.org

http://www.retailsindy.org/

317-536-3227

P.O. Box 482, Greenfield, IN 46140

Faith, Letters and Shattered Dreams

Sunday was simply a beautiful day. It was in the mid 70’s, a bright full sun, and it was the first weekend that had lawn mowers out in force. Since it was so nice outside, I asked my wife Lynn if she wanted to go rollerblading in the park. Rollerblading is something we hadn’t done yet this year, and something, well, that we haven’t done for quite some time. Why? Normally on days such as this it's time to get the leashes out, load up the car, and take our dogs to the park. Not today.

Once we got to the park I laced up my skates in all of 30 seconds. Lynn? Not so much. When Lynn was finally ready she looked like a Goalie for the Boston Bruins. Knee pads? Check. Elbow pads? Check. Hand guards? Check. When I asked Lynn where her helmet was she snapped, "Helmet? Why would I possibly need a helmet?" Silly me. If Lynn had fallen at our brisk speed of 4 MPH, the only thing she would have bruised would have been her ego. 

After a wonderful time rollerblading I suggested we drive up to the lake and eat lunch outside at a small restaurant we like. We got there just in time as there was only one table left and it had Lynn’s name all over it. Certainly not a day of the Rock Star magnitude but we thoroughly enjoyed spending time with each other, and we didn’t feel “too guilty” for leaving the dogs home on such a nice day.  

Throughout the day, as I was making sure Lynn didn’t hit any rocks with her rollerblades, or wasn’t going too fast before a turn, or as I was holding her hand as bicycles and Big-Wheels motored toward us, I kept thinking about a letter I received in the mail the day before. A letter from "Mary." A letter that would open old wounds that had long since healed, a letter that would stop me dead in tracks, and most of all, a letter that moved me so much that I needed time alone to reflect on what the letter meant, not just for me ... but for "so many" others.

Why did this letter, amongst the countless others that I received over the last 15 months stand out? Like most letters, Mary's was completely unexpected, but there was one vast difference. Mary wrote her letter six months "after" I was released from my job as Administrator for Indianapolis Animal Care & Control. Six months! Mary's letter didn’t touch me more than the other letters I've received. The unexpected nature that I received it, along with when I received it, and why it was written most surely did.

Over the last 6 months and well before then, I've received a fair share of letters and emails (100% positive). Some folks would call or text message me, while others asked us to come over and visit now and then.  There were some people in the community who went out of their way, or so it seemed, to make sure that Lynn and I were OK. In fact one supporter, who today I can call a great friend, called me out of the blue last week and asked us over for a cookout.

To receive a two-page letter 6 months after being let go, from someone I had never met or never spoken with? Incredible! This was not only unexpected but also very welcome ... and not just for me. When my wife read Mary's letter, it brought tears to her eyes and as she likes to say, made her “sappy.” Then again, a few weeks ago I said to Lynn, “Honey, your face looks really nice tonight,” which also brought her to tears so it doesn't take much to make Lynn cry.

Seriously, Mary's letter got me thinking of several things, but mainly, I thought of the people who openly supported me in so many ways, and the folks like Mary, who I never met, but that I may have touched ever so slightly in a good way ... but first, Mary’s letter:

April 6, 2010

To Doug Rae,

Consider this fan mail. I wish that I’d run into you somewhere to thank you in person, but that is unlikely. We have never met, but I watched every ACC [Animal Care & Control] Board meeting that was telecast while you were working there. I even watched the televised meetings the year prior to your arrival. I was very interested and glad when they broadcast the meeting that announced your hiring, as they explained their reasons for selecting you. My husband and I were very glad when you came.

We absorbed everything in the media & by observation that we could about changes you were bringing to the facility and to Indianapolis. We talked among ourselves that you had the leadership qualities for the job. We also knew that there would be those who had real problems with you. You were a lightning rod. You were placed in a position that you couldn’t win. No one could defeat what had been entrenched and protected at ACC. Some of the unions an d animal groups will never be team players. They want only what is best for themselves.

Mary then describes her dealings with IACC before my arrival, but the incidents that Mary's family went through, though sad and uncalled for from IACC staff, are not for this post. Mary goes on to say:

My reason for watching the board meetings on TV was that I was seeking a place to volunteer. I wanted to know the environment from a personal point of view. All of these observations and experiences, prior to your arrival, kept me from volunteering as a weekly dog walker with ACC.  I ended up at HSI [Humane Society of Indianapolis] instead (a shorter drive). Later when you were hired, we saw leadership qualities that made us think we’d want to be regular volunteers for the first time. I was in a job transition and I even considered employment at ACC.

I guess that you can be bluntly direct to people. I consider that a necessary quality for anyone who sets out to improve things. However, it is almost never understood or appreciated. You are a catalytic leader. People in status quo can never appreciate that, and will fight you in self-defense. Too bad, you are exactly what Indianapolis needed.

My heart goes out to your family. I can not imagine uprooting family to come this far to have it all unravel. What a sacrifice it must have been. [My friend] says you are still in the Indy area. Out of respect for your privacy, I’m sending this through her instead of your address.

My career and volunteer search led me to my new career as a dog walker / dog sitter in the area that I live. I have no idea what goes on these days at ACC. I lost interest when my city decided to let you go. I don’t even think the board meetings are telecast anymore. But my volunteer consideration there has ended.

You are a catalyst. Thank you for being you. Catalysts have a desire to make things “right”. They can make the tough calls. I hope that you appreciate the unique leadership qualities that God has given you, even though it doesn’t always end up with happy feelings.

Mary (an Indianapolis resident)
_____________________________________

Since being released as Administrator of Indianapolis Animal Care & Control 6 months ago, I have not said a word publically about my dismissal. Not one word. Investigative reporters and others (locally, and even nationally) wanted my "story" or at the very least – wanted a comment. My supporters urged me to hold a press conference, to speak my peace, to return calls from the media that they received, and to come out against the city.  A coalition of supporters even offered to pay all associated legal costs for us if I would bring suit against the city. I remained quiet, said nothing, and did little more.

No doubt people viewed my silence and inaction as "guilty as charged" – it was anything but. For those who knew Doug Rae, they knew what really happened in the days and weeks before my being released. In fact, they knew the intricate details and the politicking all too well and helplessly watched which was even more disappointing for them.

Though many people, my wife chief among them, wanted me to speak out, I simply believed that it was in my family's best interest to remain quiet, find peace within myself, work on stability in my family life, and lean heavily on my faith.

Saying anything back then would have been from my head, not my heart. For those of you who know me, you know that I speak straight from my heart, and regrettably, my heart was not in the right place to speak about anything, especially on the 6pm news. I simply can't imagine anything constructive would have come from me saying anything the day I was fired, or in the days after. Nothing would have changed. 

So why talk today? Why say something, say anything, six months later?

Well, I sincerely hope that my biggest supporters, including Board members, countless members of the community, and those who fought so hard to get me to this city and to keep me here, do not take this personal – but I write today because of "Mary." Because of how Mary’s letter touched me, and yes, touched my wife. Seeing Lynn cry after reading Mary's letter wasn’t "just about the letter" she just read – it was so much more, and for Lynn, as for me, and for so many others, the wound of a lost opportunity and unnecessary heartache was just as fresh today as it was 6 months ago.

Mary could be standing in front of me at the checkout and I'd never know it unless she introduced herself to me. She may never write to me again. She may never again utter the words, "Doug Rae" to her friends. She may never do many things; but the saddest thing that Mary and her husband may never do is none of the above. It's that Mary (and her husband) may never volunteer at their local animal shelter again. They may never make one cat or one dog feel special; even it’s only for an hour. How sad, but completely understandable considering the circumstances.

For people looking for a place to volunteer their time, and then choosing to volunteer for the same agency that caused their family so much anguish, and then abandoning their volunteer support after losing faith again, not only in the agency, but also in her city, well, that's a lot to swallow. It's similar to the person struggling with the decision to visit an animal shelter for the very first time looking to adopt, only to arrive at the shelter and be treated poorly by staff, as the customer walks out with no animal vowing never to return to another animal shelter, EVER.

How many other Mary's are in this city, in your city, in your state, across the country?  I'm willing to bet there are several hundred, maybe several thousand, probably several more. You know the kind. People like Mary who want to see a change, can taste the change, maybe even was a small part of the change, only to see it vaporize as quickly as an ice cube on a hot summer day.

In his bestselling book, 'Who Moved My Cheese,' Spencer Johnson says, "The quicker you let go of old cheese, the sooner you find new cheese." Mary, and hundreds of thousands of people visiting an animal shelter for the first time clearly let go of their old 'cheese' to try something new, but I have to believe that the new cheese is not always that tasty. What a shame, especially for an industry that desperately needs to "market our product better" to pull an additional 3% from the breeders and pet stores to stop killing millions of shelter animals every year. Losing even one customer is awfully costly.

Last week I received an email from someone I had met only once since coming to Indy, and for the sake of this post, cleaned up one word, "…I hope you are doing well and I apologize and am embarrassed by the deplorable treatment you received during your tenure at IACC.  In less polite words, they are small-minded fools and they [aren’t nice].  So there!  Be well Doug and take care."

The same woman would write back a few days later: "You still have lots of supporters, and people talk about you in a positive way to this day.  The more ethical and enlightened people in the animal rescue/shelter world think the world of you that I’m sure of. Sorry about my "small minded" comments.  I just got so angry with this IACC mess."

Talking about myself, as I am here, makes me eerily uncomfortable. I’m the first to stand up and take responsibility for my own actions and that of the agency, and for that I am proud for what I stand for, and grateful for the values my parents instilled in me at a very young age. Personal accountability and integrity are important to me, but shining a light on myself or patting myself on the back is not. Those who know me, or watched my public meetings in Indianapolis, know this to be true. I feel like I am doing just that today – shining an unnecessary light on myself and advancing my own agenda, which maybe is another reason why I remained quiet after getting fired. It’s just not who I am.

This post is not about me, nor is it about promoting my agenda. It's about much more.

It's about how so many people were so excited when we first kicked this season off, and how disappointed that, together, we are not going to finish what we started. When it comes right down to it, and as Director Newman (the man who hired and supported me), said just before he resigned, it's about how we had just "turned the corner" and were on our way, and the regret that we were so close…. yet oh so far away.

Today I write for the countless supporters that I knew of, for my staff and dedicated volunteer core that wanted change and didn't get it, for those supporters in the community like Mary that I never had the pleasure of meeting, for the young lady who is "…embarrassed by the deplorable treatment [I] received …", and if for no other reason, than to personally thank you all for what you did for me, and of course, for the hundreds of animals at the shelter and in foster care.

It's also for CJ, a man in his 70's sitting on a bench in a store, who gave me a simple "thumbs up" as I walked past him, and who would say, "…my wife and I are on your side. Bless you young man for all you do."

It's for the more than 350 people who signed a petition or helped distribute that petition to keep me in my position.

It's for my employees that taped a sign on my office door (3 days before I was let go) that said, "We Love You Doug! --The Staff." 

It's for my Kennel Manager, my Customer Service Manager, my Community Programs Manager and my Full Time Dog Evaluator who longed to be part of the greater vision, to be part of a change they had wanted for years as Indianapolis residents, and who were ready for the challenge in front of them. But regrettably, were systematically fired one by one immediately after I was let go, to no fault of their own, other than Doug Rae hired them.


It's for my two adoption counselors who watched helplessly as the Union worked hard to eliminate their positions that I had created, and who succeeded in doing so once I was removed. 

It's for the residents who stood in long lines (that wrapped around the shelter) for "hours upon hours, some to 10pm," just to adopt one of the “150” dogs and cats that would eventually be adopted on the 4^th of July last year, and who opened up more than 60 cages for us during a critical time of the year.

It's for Michael and Erin from the "Friends of Indianapolis Animal Care and Control" who led the charge in ensuring that their group donated $20,000 for two isolation wards for sick animals, simply because I asked for it, and because they both firmly believed in what we were doing for the animals.

It's for another group of supporters that donated $10,000 so 30 additional cats could be placed up for adoption each and every day rather than be killed. Again, simply because I asked, and because they believed in what we were doing at IACC.

It's for the Board member who wrote me saying, "I am truly sorry and regret that our city is losing such a strong and passionate leader. Unfortunately, some in Indianapolis need more time to sort things out and arrive at the self-evident realization that if they spent their time helping the shelter and stopped the political games, the unnecessary suffering of the animals would come to an end. It was a very sad day for many in Indianapolis when the politics ruled the day and you were removed to no fault of your own."

It's for Cathy, who wrote to Mayor Ballard after a very positive experience at IACC, "…I wanted to congratulate you on the appointment of Doug Rae to head Animal Care & Control. It is very heartening that someone is willing to take on the enormous and overwhelming task of turning the operations of the shelter into a positive, caring facility rather than a dumping ground for unwanted animals whose final destination is a dump or incinerator."

It's for people like Jean who live outside of the Indianapolis community that wrote, "Thank you for the hard work that you do. I read an article about what you are doing in Indianapolis and it made me wish I lived there."

It's for another Board member who wrote that I brought to Indianapolis, "…a passion and commitment that was sorely needed and much welcomed in our city. Your enthusiasm reflected the required sprit to reform the agency and to be one that was accountable to the animals. Your especially refreshing and candid honesty is quite unusual and is an essential in the challenging arena of animal welfare…..You have been the first Administrator to bring hope to the animals at the city shelter, and to the vast majority of the community."

It's for David from Hamilton County who wrote, "Welcome to the Hoosier state!"

It's for MaryBeth who wrote, "…but again I want you to know that this is one person who is very glad we finally have someone in charge who truly cares about the animals."


It's for GR who wrote, “Dear Doug. Please don’t let all the unfair attacks deter you. Please achieve what you came here to do!”

It's for Joan who recently moved away from Indianapolis and shared this through email shortly after arriving at her new home, "…and I apologize on behalf of the narrow-minded agenda-ridden idiots who screwed you over at the ACC. Our loss." 

It's for the folks who gave up their lunch hour, and then some, to be part of a "Keep Doug Rae" rally held at Monument Circle (the center of Indianapolis).

It's for an Indianapolis rescue partner who wrote: "A great many people in Indianapolis were devastated by the political decision to replace you as the Indianapolis Animal Care & Control Administrator. But even in the devastation, we have a hope we didn't have before. We have an example of how the shelter should have run. We have seen that a single courageous person can make an enormous difference. We see that we can – and must – continue to do what you started too eventually make Indianapolis a city that we can be proud of."

It's even for the Editor of the Indy Star, a local newspaper, who wrote the morning after I was fired,

"Yet [Rae] energetically took on the foremost problem he inherited, bringing efficiency and decency to a shelter operation that was nothing short of a cruel, scandalous mess under his politically appointed predecessors. He did it while increasing adoptions, decreasing euthanasia, increasing responses to stray dog calls and -- answering the main concern of his critics -- presiding over a period of reduced dog bite reports. Animal lovers backed him, if not unanimously, then certainly fervently. How does this amount to what Acting Public Safety Director Mark Renner calls failure?"

It's for so many more people that I haven't named or, like Mary, that I never met. And lastly, it's for Susan…..

With 4 television cameras staring at me after a Board meeting last August, my final Board meeting where I would have an opportunity to address the City of Indianapolis, a reporter asked, "Doug. How can you put up with all that has been thrown at you? How are you still smiling?" I replied, "The Lord doesn’t give you more than you can handle."

Susan would see this on the news and would send me a card with the following message, "Doug, try not to let your trials get you down. As you know, if God takes you to it, he will get you thorough it. Stay close to your faith and your belief that you are helping the animals. If you rely on God and trust in the plan he has for you, you will be victorious. I will pray for you. Susan."

When Susan came to the shelter to see me, I asked her why she wrote what she did. She told me, as I had assumed, that she saw the piece on the news and heard my comment about God. As Susan was talking with me, her eyes welled up as she reflected on her own personal trials, and said that she, "…would do anything that [I] needed from her if it meant that it would help keep me in Indy." Today, 8 months after receiving Susan's thoughtful and inspiring card, her card sits on my office desk two feet from my computer. It doesn't matter what city I live in, where I am working, or how old I am, Susan's card will always be close by. It means that much to me.

There are so many more 'letters' and 'emails' from people just like Susan and Mary who had such high hopes and watched as their hopes and dreams were shattered. But I'd also like to thank another group of people. A very small group of folks that took their eye off of the animals and moved away from their own mission for personal gain, and others that failed the employees they were charged with overseeing, only to give way to a political stranglehold that was self-serving at best, while others simply lost their way falling prey to human ego and sheltering ignorance easily overcome.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 2-4)

It doesn’t matter if you have faith or not; the circumstances in James 2-4 can either make or break an individual. I could quote Shakespeare to Zig Ziglar on the subject of what "trials" do for someone’s character but not today. Today I can say unequivocally that am a better person than when I arrived in Indianapolis, and though the small group of people described earlier may find this hard to believe, I can now find peace and forgiveness in my heart to thank them for this gift.

I thank them for showing me just how much peace I truly had in my heart when times were anything but peaceful. For showing me just how courageous and focused I can remain when the walls around me are coming down. For allowing me to see just how much adversity I can handle and still smile at the end of each day. And for one lesson that they unknowingly taught me that I will cherish for the remainder of my life, and that the people who I work with, and the animals that I care for in the future will greatly benefit from.


For all of that, I am truly grateful. I only hope that one day the people who wrote me, the people that supported me, my managers who were systematically fired, my wife Lynn, and the vast majority of the Indianapolis community (and those living outside of the community) who watched this travesty unravel in front of them, can find peace and forgiveness within themselves to one day forgive them as well.

I sincerely hope that people in Indianapolis continue to fight the good battle on behalf of the animals and the people that honestly care, and that the vast majority of the community one day rallys together with an sense of honesty and collaboration void of human ego and singularity. When the day turns to night and the light at the end of the tunnel seems to have gone out, look deep within yourself and know that you have only begun. That it's for something far bigger than any one person, and with hard work, determination and passion, it truly can be done.

"More than anything else, what keeps a person going in the midst of any adversity is having a sense of purpose. It is the fuel that powers persistence." (John C. Maxwell)

Find that purpose and hold on to it tight. Millions of animals like these two depend upon it. 

Again, and with all my heart, I sincerely thank you for the unyielding support, and for everything that you do for the animals. 


Always in friendship and support,

Doug Rae