At a family get together at the holidays? When your spouse or significant other comes home from work or leaves for the day? At your nephews baseball game when you saw your brother or sister for the first time in weeks, months? Maybe when you ran into your friend at the mall that you haven’t spoken with for some time? Whatever the reason, we all hug, if not on a regular basis, than surely annually; and if not sincerely, then surely casually.
Now when’s the last time you hugged someone to the letter of the true meaning of the word hugged? “To clasp or hold closely, especially in the arms, as in affection; embrace.” Another meaning of hugged is “to cherish.” This is the hug that I speak of today. The hug, the ‘embrace,’ that is meant to, “cherish…as in affection.”
Last week I received an email from a friend telling me about an adoption event this weekend and she invited me to stop by. I haven’t been to an offsite adoption event in quite some time for many reasons that may or may not be obvious to you, and for reasons that I don’t want to get into here, but the timing of this request just felt right. Considering the many positive responses to my recent post, http://dougrae.blogspot.com/2010/04/faith-letters-and-shattered-dreams.html it seemed very appropriate to attend this event. So I asked Lynn if she wanted to go. Lynn worked this morning, and she’s off to work tonight, but she had time in the middle of the day, and like me, Lynn wanted to go, so off we went.
The location for the event was familiar but the exact address was not. I knew we were close so I grabbed a parking spot on the road not knowing where the exact building was. It was then that I spotted a ‘Big Red Dog’ down the street acting like someone just asked him, “Wanna go for a walk?” You know what I mean. Jumping all around, acting like a big goof, and not a care in the world as he spins in circles in wild excitement.
“It must be over there,” I said to Lynn.
My Lab is probably the smartest dog that I have ever lived with; maybe even met. Casey would have something to say about that, but Simba simply amazes me at some of the things he does or can figure out on his own. He’s simply amazing; but the ‘Big Red Dog’ by the street today? Simba can’t hold a candle to him. Not only could this dog crazy dance, a cappela at that, but this dog also had great customer service skills; something maybe, perhaps, probably – is sadly absent in the animal-welfare world. Not today.
As we approached the front entranceway the dog headed to the door and opened the door for Lynn as he extended a paw as if to say, “This way madam.” Just then, a woman came around the corner walking a dog. I saw her, she saw me. She let out a scream like a mouse that just took the cheese, only to turn around and see a cat tipping his cap. I walked over and immediately received a sizeable (and caring) hug, as would Lynn.
Then the smarty-pants red dog decapitated himself just to show us that he knew us as well. I hadn’t seen either of these nice folks for some time. I walked inside of the building after exchanging pleasantries. Holy man! Volunteers were everywhere, some standing, some sitting on the floor with dogs, some at informational tables, some in the back with the cats. Volunteers were everywhere. Plenty of adoptable dogs in the front of the building and plenty of adoptable cats in the back of the building. The customer traffic was also quite high for this Saturday; probably in large part to the gifted red dog.
When I walked into the building I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in a while, another sincere hug. Another friend to her left, this one grooming a dog… another hug. Over there, another woman… another hug. A friend walked towards me that I hadn’t seen for some time, so I extended my hand to shake his. He shook my hand and said, “Get over here!” as he pulled me close and hugged me; very sincerely at that. Yet another person over there; another hug over here. People were everywhere. Several folks who clearly knew me but I couldn’t immediately remember their name also made it a point to say hi. People like Allen.
I first met Allen at an offsite event last year, probably 4, 5, 6 months after I came to Indy. I only remember it was a wicked hot day. When I walked in and Allen saw me he acted as if I was Bon Jovi and he had all of my albums. For the life of me I would not have been able to articulate a valid reason why Allen was so excited to meet me; but it was straight from his heart, and no matter what the reason, it meant a good deal to me then, and still does to this day. I didn’t remember Allen’s name when I saw him today but when I politely asked for a reminder, Allen responded with a rather witty statement, in a somewhat neat voice, that I wish I could share in this post, but won’t since some may not appreciate Allen’s clever but appropriate humor. I on the other hand did appreciate it.
At one point during the day a kind man with a megaphone made an announcement that had the flavor of a county fair ‘carny.’ Considering the level of noise in the building with dogs barking, humans speaking loudly, and a red dog dancing in the street with Martha and the Vandella’s in his mind, I fully understand the megaphone. A megaphone is a great way to announce adoptions and whatnot when it's so loud; but not this time. This time he talked about how Lynn and myself were in the building and in short, welcomed us to “their” event. The whole building clapped and looked our way, or so it seemed.
This was a bit uncomfortable on a personal level, since the “all about Doug Rae” moments are better served for the other guy, not for me. So as I graciously smiled and acknowledged the response, I caught the eyes of a young woman down the way. Her head was tilted ever so slightly to her right, she had a slight smile on her face, and I noticed that her eyes had started to glass over as she was clapping for Lynn and me. It was as genuine of a moment as I can remember. She could not have articulated anything close to what she was saying with her body language. It was real, it was genuine, it was from her heart.
Someone said that my showing up, “…made his entire day.” I said, “C’mon, that’s much don’t you think?” “No really, this means a lot to all of us,” he said as he shook my hand and genuinely smiled at Lynn. Earlier in the day, a woman named Rhonda, a supporter through the good and the bad times, was walking toward me. I walked over to Rhonda and said, “It's good to see you” as I hugged her, which was the very first time we had hugged (I believe). What I was feeling from Rhonda was awfully sincere, as were the earlier hugs and smiles and handshakes from others, as was the announcement thanking Lynn and me for being there. This is when it hit me; at the very moment I was hugging Rhonda.
The level of sincerity toward Lynn and myself today, well, it was off the charts. Simply positively off the charts. Baseball fan? It was a 550-foot homerun. Stock guy? The Dow is up 200 points. It was that big. The sincerity I was feeling throughout the day, and the love that some people knowingly or unknowingly had in their heart surely wasn’t mandated by the person in charge of today’s event, and it certainly wasn’t phony, no, it was unadulterated sincerity, and it was in abundance.
Lynn bought raffle tickets for a ‘basket of goodies’ today. I didn’t know she did this until we were in the car on our way home and she was talking about a book in that basket. There were other things available to raise money for the organization at the event, and if the "sincerity" that I received from so many today had also been for sale; I would have bought a bottle of the stuff. No, I would have bought a case. Heck, I would have had it auto-shipped to my front door every month. It was that good. It was that special. It was that real.
So I ask you? When was the last time you really and truly hugged someone with all of your heart, and for all the right reasons? Unquestionably the person getting the hug is far better for receiving it, or at least I hope so, but it’s also meaningful and deeply moving for ‘you.’ It’s a win-win, and you won’t find it at Macy’s, or in your mailbox, or on your Facebook or Twitter page. It’s something that is uniquely yours, that only you can monitor, is not all that hard to find, and only you can share.
Your heart – share it today. Share it sincerely.
Doug
Doug
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